Questions to ask yourself before dating someone

02-Nov-2015 08:09 by 2 Comments

Questions to ask yourself before dating someone

Sexual addiction, an umbrella term which includes pornography addiction, is likely the most harmful addiction when it comes to marriages.The reasons for this are numerous and include the shame associated with this addiction for both the addict and the spouse, the sense of betrayal, and stereotypes linked to the addiction.

The lack of support available to spouses, and often inaccurate information being put out about partners of sexual addicts, can cause a wife to suffer additional trauma and feel like she is partially responsible for her husband’s behavior.

Since this is a “process addiction,” versus a chemical addiction, it is so hard for wives to understand. There are many different compartments so that he can divide his life up into separate components that don’t touch each other.

This lack of understanding can cause numerous misconceptions to be held as truths and can postpone healing. His marriage and family can be in one compartment, his job in another…you get the point.

It is possible for your husband to love you, even though he is looking at pornography. This is a benefit when a man is fighting in a war and able to focus on the task at hand without worrying about his family back home.

But it also makes a man able to look at pornography without thinking about how it may hurt you or his marriage.

Women’s brains are more like spaghetti where everything is connected.

We are more likely to be worrying about our kids when we are at work and thinking about work when we are at home.

When a man becomes addicted to pornography, it can become a perceived need rather than a choice for him until he becomes willing to reach out for help.

His use of porn causes a release of the same chemicals involved when a drug is ingested.

At the height of his addiction, nothing, not even the risk of losing his job or his marriage, is enough to stop him.

This explains how a politician or celebrity can make such risky, career-destroying moves without stopping to consider the consequences.

Later I will discuss the kinds of consequences that can catapult an addict into reality.