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In the past few months, I’ve become a chat room aficionado.
Chat rooms have been around since the early days of AOL, yet I avoided them for years.
There was something intimidating, and risky about the idea, and its stereotype as a hangout for lowlifes and losers.
But since I decided to overcome my fear, my experience has been unquestionably positive.
Many Aspies have found their comfort zone in chat rooms long before me. A chat room can be a place to go and find other people to talk to, on those nights when there is no one around, and nowhere to go. Chat with a community you know, or with friends from real life.
Others remain hesitant to try, whether out of fear of socialization or discomfort with the medium. Aspies often have trouble when a conversation suddenly ends, or changes topic. In text-based chat, NT’s don’t have access to their usual conversational cues – sarcasm is very difficult to do, and nuances of expression aren’t easily detected. Aspies love rules, and chat comes with its own universe of rules and language. Chat has an immediacy to it, and at its best, a personal connection, that I haven’t found in other social media, such as Twitter and Facebook. When you’re out of things to say, just say you’ve got to go now. Know whether the chat room is accessible to the public, and don’t give out your name or personal information.I’d like to address the latter group here, and list some reasons why I think chat rooms can be especially beneficial to those on the autism spectrum. A chat room can be confusing at first if you’ve never experienced it. In chat, you can pinpoint where the topic changed, by scrolling up. So the NT's are thrown off a bit, kind of like we Aspies are in in-person conversation. Learn new and exciting words, like wb, or -__- or o_O! Also, learn the special secret tricks of chat, like how to do an action, or change your font color. Like the olden days of passing language down by word of mouth. When chatting with people using a webcam, you can look at their faces without making eye contact! I haven’t given up my social media, but I prefer chat when I’m in the mood for human interaction. Chat has become an integral part of my social life.But if you hang around long enough, you’ll get used to the flow. It’s okay to sit back and observe until you feel comfortable. You can chat by text with them if you’re not on cam yourself. If you turn on your webcam, you can see yourself on screen, like a rear view mirror. My cyber-acquaintances are important connections to me, who I enjoy interacting with, and sharing ups and downs with, unbounded by geography and with an unlimited variety of life backgrounds.Just say hello, and if you like, greet others when they arrive. Handy to check if you are wearing an appropriate expression. A few weeks ago, one of our chat regulars passed away at a young age, from a chronic illness.You will get an idea of who is a regular, and who will greet you time after time, and you can return their greeting. People in chat can talk all at once, and even have multiple conversations. You can take your time in responding to a question – even several minutes! We all felt the loss, even if we hadn’t talked to him much, we got to know his sense of humor, his personality, and his spirit.In person, this is extremely hard to process, but in chat, you have time – the transcript is right there on your screen. We were reminded how real these connections become.