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Skype is known around the world as a convenient, free video calling service and enjoys widespread popularity in Japan.As with any online communication website, you’re bound to be contacted by someone you don’t know.If you simply ignore the contact request, nothing will come of it, but what if you didn’t?What sort of mischief would come about as a result of your imprudent actions?This brings us to the first and hopefully last installment of what our Japanese correspondent likes to call “My English battle with a foreigner who suddenly decided to contact me on Skype”.The other day I was unexpectedly contacted by an unknown user by the name of bunnykiss623 on Skype.
The user didn’t have any information in their profile or even a profile picture.After, she told me her name was Jenny, so let’s just call her “Jenny-chan” for the time being. So that’s what she meant by “something cute”: a shocking orange tank top. You’ll see there’s a timer counting down to something on the very left side of the screen. I couldn’t gather up the courage to tell Jenny how I felt, so I decided to save her picture while I endured the intense agony of deciding whether or not to confess my feelings.First, Jenny sent over a simple “hey” with a wink mark. （私は男だ。そして私は日本人だ。さらに私は学生ではない。34歳だ。君は？） Jenny : of course lol? I’m recently single and i really like chill drama free guys who i can show my little body off to lol, promise you won’t record me if i show you? （うん。君は男か？） Jenny : lol ok one minute while i put on something cute, ok? She almost looks like she’s playing on the computer. But if you look closely, you’ll see that there’s a chat box below. I didn’t really understand what it was for, but I knew I had to do something within five minutes. But after right clicking on her picture, I realized that it was a GIF.I replied with my junior high level English response of “Hello! ” to which Jenny responded, “hello to you too.” I wanted to know her name, so I mustered up some English and came back with “what your name? That’s about the extent of my English ability, but take a look at my conversation with Jenny. Where your Country？ （オッケー、ジェニー。俺のことはGOと呼んでくれ。俺の名前はGOだ。君はどこの国の人間なんだ？） ──At this point, Jenny stopped responding for some reason. ” but I didn’t notice it for a long time and lost my opportunity to talk. （はい！） Jenny : hey thanks for adding me, found your name in the skype member search…24/f, you? （もちろん笑！ 私、最近、恋人がいなくなったし、私の小柄な体を見せびらかせられる後腐れのない相手がいいの……。もし見せても録画しないって約束してくれる？） GO : Yes. （笑。オッケ！ 今からカワイイ服を着てくるから……ちょっとまってて……） GO : OK （オーケーだ……） ──Well that was all a bit sketchy. What kind of clothing does a 24-year-old college student in America think is cute? If you wait around for a few seconds, things like “Hey did you accept my invite?? But…but…I just met Jenny and now I have to decide whether or not I want to continue this relationship within such a short amount of time? I’ll just put it right down here for ya: ──I realized that if you refresh the page, no matter how many times, Jenny’s video feed will show the same thing. With the kindness and understanding of a saint, I vow to listen to your story. （飛んでみたよ……） Jenny : ok ya just accpt the invite and it’ll connect us :) （オッケー！ あとは私の招待を受け入れてくれたら、私たちは……“接続” される……）」 GO : Can you see me typing?There’s quite a lot of dropped conversations, but that’s probably because of my poor English skills. （こんにちは！ 君は誰？） Jenny : hello to you too （よろしくね） GO : what your name? But the day after that at precisely am JST, Jenny finally got the awkward conversation ball rolling again. （私からの友だち申請を受理してくれてありがとうね。あなたのこと、スカイプのメンバー検索で探したのよ……。私は24歳の女。あなたは？） GO : where are you? （今どこにいる？） Jenny : I’m from Cali/Modesto but i’m currently living in Houston （私は米カリフォルニア州のモデスト出身。でも今はヒューストンに住んでいるんだ） GO : are you student? Jenny’s looking for trouble and it seems she’s off trying on cute outfits for me. I could get three square meals out of this fantasy, but contrary to what I was expecting, Jenny finished changing really quickly. So now let’s bring it back to the rest of our conversation: Jenny : ok :) go here （URL） do u see my cam? From here on, will I be brought to an online dating site?! I knew I had to act fast; Jenny was going to disappear in a few minutes! The message that Jenny typed out for me also appeared just as it did the first time I clicked on her link. This woman who purposefully repeats herself like a robot must be just like Rei Ayanami from Evangelion. （俺がタイプした文字、見えてる？ ※チャット画面に書いてあったことをコピペして反応を伺ってみた） Jenny : oh, i think you might have to fill out some stuff…everyone gets verified as being real on here, keeps the creepy people away!!! GO : File sent（gohatori32x32.jpg） GO : File sent（gohatori64x64.jpg） GO : Please see it.Editor’s note: For your amusement and to give you Japanese learners a little bit of extra language study, we’ve kept in the Japanese translation of GO’s conversation, brought to you by Ike and Nekolas. （君の名前は？） Jenny : jennifer, just call me jenny （ジェニファーよ。ジェニーって呼んで） GO : OK. （君は学生か？） Jenny : well I’m home for the summer from college, trying to get myself into some trouble ;) lol are you into college girls or cougars? it might just be my pic cause your not a member yet （オッケ笑。このURLに飛んでみて。私のカメラ見えるかな？ あ、でも、もしかしたら、今そこに写ってるのは私の写真じゃないかも……。メンバーになったら見られると思うよ） GO : Please send me your photo. I don’t go other URL （今すぐ写真を送ってくれ。今すぐだ。俺は君のURLには飛ばない） Jenny : pics are old skool hehe, i like to do cam 2 cam :) i’m online right now （URL） im the main girl u see there, type to me on the right hand side of my video （写真なんて時代遅れだって笑 私が好きなのはリアルタイムのビデオ通信。私はいまオンライン中だよ！ 画面に映ってるのが私だよ。映像の下にチャットスペースがあるから発言してみてね！） ──She’s back! I sat there for a while, trying to decide what I should do…and by a while I mean about three minutes. As I sat there trying to think of words that rhyme with “Jenny”, the clocked ticked down to three minutes. So…since she does the same thing over and over again, this must mean that…Jenny is a robotic woman. lol （オゥ……。もしかしたら、いろんな項目を入力しなきゃいけないかもしれないけれど、そこはカンベンしてね。怪しい人を入れないためのルールだから。みんな、ちゃんとした人ばっかりだから） ──Hmm.conversation didn’t seem to quite be in gear. However, it’s common knowledge that at this stage of your offensive strike, the “calling attack” is a very important move to show your enthusiasm. Jenny had been playing offense, throwing unrecognizable English my way; it was my turn to take the lead. （見てください……） Jenny : k let me know when your signed in so i can send u some private time loving!